2012?

I'm not ready. Can i just skip 2012 and head straight to 2013? Next year will be my last year as a high school student.

Time, please fly fast.

-AA

Friends of the Year

Hye. 

Tak post apa-apa pun in this month kan? Haha. Mhmm, so, Form 4 has ended. Alhamdulillah :)

And, these are the people that have helped me to go through 2011. My bestfriends, who have always been there for me. The ones that i treasure the most. And the ones I'm thankful for. And also the ones who prove to me that I am truly blessed. 

Aisyah K and Shasha <3

Sara and Shasha <3

Naim and Aisyah K <3

My Puteri <3

And the girl who is lucky :)

P/S Sorry for all my wrongdoings throughout the year. I love you guys. 

-AA

To the beautiful birthday girl.

Happy 21st birthday Alia Amira Azahar!!

I've wished you on Facebook, Twitter and now here on Blogspot.

Thank you for being such an amazing sister. Yeah, kita gaduh beribu kali dalam setahun. Tapi kita gelak berjuta kali dalam sebulan. Kan? Hehe.

I'm sorry for my mistakes okay. The times when i feel lazy to layan you, the times when i feel "Urghh, apa lagi ni?!" when you ask me to come inside your room to show me something. The times when i feel lazy when you ask me to switch off the lights when I'm already in bed. 

But.. I love you Kak Chik. You know i do. When i feel ugly, you're always there to say "Mana ada laa. Sikit je." When i get bad results, you are there to say "Chill. Ni baru high school." And thank you for just being there for me. 

May Allah bless you, shower you with His love and blessings. I really hope you're going to be happy forever. Because your smile brightens up my day. *Sebab bila Kak Chik bad mood, Kak Chik lepas kat Aisyah -.- *

Happiness. I want you to have that. Because you deserve it. And i hope one day, there will come a man who will treat you right, who will always make you smile, who will be the reason why you're glowing, who will always be there for you, who can guide you to His path, who will love you sincerely and who will be waiting for you in the Heaven. 

Hope you had a blast on your birthday, Kak Chik. You've got amazing friends and family. *Including me* Appreciate them. And never forget to thank Him :)

 You and I against the world, sister ;)

I will always be here when you need me. Yes, till forever ends.


You once requested for a puisi from me. So, here it is.

Alia Amira Azahar
Memang nama sebenar
Memang watak sebenar
Memang kakak sebenar

Dia yang disangka garang
Tetapi sebenarnya terlebih matang
Dia yang senang didekati
Tetapi senang terasa hati

Selamat Hari Jadi
Semoga diredhai Ilahi
Semoga sentiasa disayangi
Ke penghujung nyawa nanti

-AA

To Sadhana Bt Azahar

5 hari lagi before Kak Ngah and Abang Ngah balik Egypt untuk setahun. Aaaaa, kuatkan mental Aisyah!

I'm going to miss you so much Kak Ngah.

I'm going to miss you ejek-ing me.

I'm going to miss your tudung Ariani, hacks, macbook Pro, your clothes, jeans, pins, your judging eyes and face.

I'm going to miss sleeping with you.

I'm going to miss sharing all kinds of stories with you.

I'm going to miss going to the wet market and having breakfast with you.

I'm going to miss shopping for raya clothes with you.

I'm going to miss the time when you ask for my money to borrow.

I'm going to miss you saying "Aisyah, bagi je lah baju ni kat Kak Ngah."

I'm going to miss washing the dishes with you.

I'm going to miss arguing with you.

I'm going to miss your I-am-always-right attitude.

I'm going to miss watching movies with you.

I'm going to miss you helping me with my tudung.

I'm going to miss you answering my stupid questions.

I'm going to miss you laughing at my stupid jokes.

I'm going to miss everything about you.

I'm going to miss you.

Thank you Kak Ngah, for everything.

And I'm sorry for every mistake I've done. I know I've always been rude to you. We've fought countless times. And i know I'm not a good sister. Truly sorry.

I hope that we can Skype often.

I hope that 1 year will fly fast.

I hope that you will have a good time there.

I hope that you will take good care of Abang Ngah and vice versa.

I don't say this often, but I'm going to say this now,

I love you so much, Kak Ngah. You've been an amazing sister. Thank you.

Take care, Kak Ngah <3

-AA-

AFJKSJFDJKGKHGDSGJSGJ

Title tu betul-betul describe mood aku sekarang ni.

I don't understand what I'm feeling. Mood budak teenager memang macam ni ke? Sekejap happy macam..

Sekejap sedih macam....

-Image from Tumblr

I'm actually stressed out.

Stress... Kak Ngah and Abang Ngah dah nak fly.

Stress... Finals lagi 2 weeks.

Can i just...

-Image from Tumblr.

Can I? October's gonna be an emotional month for my family and I.

I've got to prepare mentally.

-AA-

Can I Have My Best Friend Back?

Drama competition. 

And, i was the scriptwriter. I didn't have any idea on what to write about at first. Instruction dia, every play kena ada moral value(s). So, my goal was "Jangan bosankan judges. Jangan bosankan audience." Dua tu je.

So, ambik ilham dari cerita Mean Girls. I wrote about this one girl who has a bestfriend. The bestfriend is always there for her. Tapi, bila masuk high school, mulalah bergaul dengan the 'it' girls, you know? And, that girl mula neglect and ignore her bestfriend. Because bestfriend dia tu, simple sangat orangnya. Last-last, something happened between the girl and her famous friends. And that girl yang gilakan popularity tu, mula insaf and try to make up with her bestfriend back. Itulah sebabnya tajuk dia "Can I Have My Best Friend Back?"

So, my class 4 Amanah was satisfied with my story so we all started to work on it. Stayed back everyday from Monday till Thursday untuk siapkan props tau.

And, bila tiba hari competition, I looked at my friends and said "Korang, ni kita have fun je okay. Jangan expect apa-apa. Let's just do our best and enjoy every moment okay?" Waktu berlakon atas pentas, i could see the judges smiling. And i started to feel comfortable. We did great, i'd say. :) Tapi, bila tengok class lain performed, i started to feel... scared?

Yes, i did say to my friends, jangan expect apa-apa. Jangan expect akan menang. But, hope tu still ada. I really didn't want to get my hopes up, but i couldn't help it. I did pray to God, sometimes, biarlah 4 Amanah menang drama competition.

And last Monday, keluarlah result competition. Teacher announced

"Third place goes to... 4 Kamil." And i thought "Ahaaa, class Aisyah K. We're screwed. Tempat ketiga pun tak dapat, habislah. Banyak lagi class yang best."

"Second place goes to.. 4 Cekal." And aku betul-betul terkejut. Aku betul-betul ingat 4 Cekal akan menang 1st place.

"First place goes to.. Can I Have My Best Friend Back?" Tak tunggu 1 saat pun, tak tunggu cikgu habis cakap pun, kitorang semua dah menjerit macam dapat straight A's in SPM. Ahaaa.

I was shocked. I was shocked. And guess what, i was truly shocked. He answered my prayers. Alhamdulillah, thank you so much Ya Allah.

Even though tak menang best script, i didn't feel dissapointed at all. Dah Alhamdulillah sangat-sangat, menang overall. And best female actress, pun dari my class. Congratulations Azra Atiqah! Only God knew how satisfied, proud and glad i was.

Kitorang, pecah rekod. Mana pernah 4 Amanah menang drama competition. Selalunya, 4 Amanah akan cuba untuk tarik diri. But this year? Now i know, nothing is impossible. Even the word itself says "I'm possible."

Then, Puteri said to me "Kenapa selalunya, benda yang kita buat for fun la, yang akan menang. Tapi benda yang kita buat sungguh-sungguh la, yang takkan menjadi?"

I have no answer to that question. But i've thought about it once too.

Entahlah. He knows what's best for us, and we just need to trust His plans, kan?

-AA-

To my bestfriend, forever InsyaAllah :)

Bukan semua ada kawan baik. Dan, aku bersyukur. Ada kawan baik sebaik Aisyah Khairina bt Zaini. I love you, bestfriend. So, here's one for you. Sorry, kalau tak sedap. :(

Bukan kawan pada mula
Bukan juga musuh pada awalnya
Walaupun satu taman
Tapi lama tak sedar kewujudan

Terima kasih pada dia

Dia yang nama pun sama

Rupa pun ada kata serupa

Kerana sentiasa di depan mata

Sekarang, lega dan lega
Jadi kawan baik akhirnya
Teman suka dan duka
Sudah empat tahun lamanya

Bestfriends, forever and always :)

-AA-

Rina Zambri. Hehe.

Wan Chik dah nak balik Jeddah dah esok. Sedihnyaaaa. I'm going to miss her so much. :(

Entah bila lah dapat jumpa lagi, kan Wan Chik? :(

I love you, Wan Chik :')

P/S Take care dengan Qashah dekat Jeddah :)

-AA-

Mula sedar

Aku nak kurus. Aku tak selesa dengan badan aku. Aku rasa inferior, insecure. Aku cakap dengan kawan-kawan aku "Nak kurus, Nak kurus." Dan diorang akan cakap "Kau dah kurus la, nak kurus macam mana lagi?" Aku tahu diorang pun sebenarnya muak dengan perangai aku. Aku nak dengar diorang cakap "Kau dah kurus la.." banyak kali, so that aku tak rasa inferior. Sorry to everyone, to Aisyah Khairina especially, sebab dialah yang banyak cuba sedarkan aku yang dengan badan macam ni, aku dah okay. Ya Allah, sayang dia. 

Bukan senang. Bukan senang nak rasa selesa dengan diri kita bila ada segelintir yang cakap kita ni gemuk. Sekali orang kutuk, sampai bila-bila kita ingat. Itulah masalah aku. 

Dan mungkin sebab perangai aku yang tak reti bersyukur Allah dah bagi kesihatan tu, Dia cuba sedarkan aku dengan kesakitan pula. Sekarang, berat aku turun. Tapi, aku sakit perut sentiasa. Minyak angin jadi bestfriend aku. Bukan lagi Aisyah Khairina. *Haha! Ok kidding*

Sekarang, aku sedar. Mula sedar. Alhamdulillah lah badan aku macam ni. Janji, aku sihat. 

Ya Allah, ampunilah dosaku kerana tidak bersyukur padaMu sebelum ini. 

So, to everyone out there, tolonglah. Tolonglah sedar yang tak semua yang kita nak tu bagus untuk kita. Ada sebab kenapa Allah jadikan kita, the way we are now. Allah jadikan kita sebaik-baik kejadian. 

I will try not to complaint about my weight anymore to my friends. 

I will try not to annoy my friends anymore. 

And... be grateful instead.

-Image from Tumblr

-AA-

Rindu sampai masuk mimpi

I miss Kak Ngah so much. Malam semalam, aku mimpi keluar dengan dia and Kak Chik. Kitorang tiga je. Macam biasa.

Sekarang, Kak Ngah pergi honeymoon. Rindunya. Macam mana lah nanti bila dia pergi Egypt?

Why does everyone leave? 

-AA-

Bersabar... atau Bersyukur?

Aku dengar ada ustaz ni berceramah.. Dia cakap..

"Ada orang ni datang dekat saya. Dia mengadu anak dia ni hisap rokok, hisap dadah. Saya nak buat macam mana Ustaz? Saya dah doa, saya dah banyak sabar. Itulah pasalnya kita jangan jadi orang yang bersabar. Jadi orang yang bersyukur. Bersyukurlah anak dia cuma menagih dadah. Bukan mengedar dadah. Orang yang bersabar ni, dalam hati dia, pahit dan pedih. Tapi dalam hati orang yang bersyukur, hati dia tenang. Orang yang sabar ni, dia solat untuk meminta-minta. Jadilah orang yang jumpa Allah hanya untuk bersyukur. Orang yang bersyukur, rezeki dia akan berlipat kali ganda."

Tapi, aku fikir "Jadi orang yang bersabar. Tapi jangan lupa untuk bersyukur."

-Image from Tumblr

Let's take a minute and thank Him for every single thing. Alhamdulillah.

-AA-

Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri

Lagu ni memang pedas lah the lyrics. Seriously. And this song boleh di apply kan dekat banyak broken relationships. Haha. Don't you think so? Who wrote the lyrics? I salute lah.

No, I can't take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

[Chorus:]
And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

[Chorus]

It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
‘Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are? 

- Image from Tumblr

-AA-

Hanya Dia

Hanya Allah je yang tahu betapa happynya aku untuk Kak Ngah bila finally sampai jodoh dia dengan lelaki yang dah about 3 years diorang together. Alhamdulillah. Syukur. Doa aku, hopefully perkahwinan diorang bahagia dan berkekalan hingga ke akhir hayat dan semoga dikurniai dengan zuriat keturunan yang soleh dan solehah. Amin.

Tapi, berat jugak nak lepaskan dia. Sebab, dia akan ikut suami dia ke Egypt untuk sambung belajar, setahun. Sedih. Dahlah next year aku SPM. Siapa yang nak motivate aku? :( Kak Ngah je yang asyik-asyik "Aisyah, belajar!"

My beloved Kak Ngah and Abang Ngah :')

I love them to bits :)

Waktu wedding diorang, entah mana datang la ilham and courage aku untuk tulis and baca puisi untuk diorang. Haha. Tapi sebab sayang punya pasal, beranikan diri. Semuanya untuk Sadhana binti Azahar and Johannas Mohd Yusof. Hehe.

Cinta

Bukan semua dapat merasainya

Jodoh

Bukan semua sampai serunya

Pertemuan kita, perkenalan kita,

Percintaan kita,

Segalanya sudah diatur olehNya

Segalanya atas kehendak Dia

Aku suka lihat dia tertawa, tersenyum

Seolah-olah aku benar-benar membuat dia bahagia

Dan entah kenapa, 

Aku resah

Apabila dia hilang

Walaupun cuma sebentar

Dari situ, aku mula sedar

Aku mula dapat merasainya

Rasa yang bukan semua dapat merasainya

Rasa cinta

Aku bersyukur

Dia temukan kita

Dia dekatkan kita

Dia satukan kita

Dan kini, aku berdoa seikhlas hati

Dia sambut huluran tanganku

Membina hidup baru denganku

Menemani dan berkongsi suka dukaku

Dan aku berjanji

Dengan izinNya

Aku akan membuat dia bahagia

dan menjaganya kerana

Dialah tulang rusukku

yang akhirnya

Telah aku jumpa.

Jiwang? Hahahaha. Ini minat. 

-AA-

Baby, I'm starting to love you already!

Baby along :) InsyaAllah, lagi 3 weeks due. Aaaa, tak sabarnya nak jadi aunty! Sebab sayang, ilham nak tulis puisi pun datang.

Along     : Aisyah, tuliskan puisi untuk baby along.
Aisyah   : Ok.

So, this is specially for you, baby. Sincerely, from your aunty ;)

Hidupku penuh dengan lagu
Semua di sisi, semua mengelilingi
Di kanan keluarga, di kiri suami
Dan kini, hidupku juga ingin kau hiasi


Tidak lama lagi
Apabila kau hadir sayang
Akan mula wujud melodi baru
Menjadi pelengkap lagu hidupku


Tetapi kini
Namamu masih belum kutemu
Tetapi tunggu, sebulan lagi
Akan kucari nama yang ikhlas untukmu

- Image from Tumblr

-AA-

Salam.

Hye. Welcome to akumulaterfikir.blogspot.com. Hehe. Aku sebenarnya pernah ada blog once. My Sphere. Tapi i deleted it because... of some reasons. Tapi insyaAllah, Dunia AA ni, aku takkan delete. Sayang kot! Hehe. AA stands for Aisyah Azahar. 

Aku sebenarnya baru keluar hospital. Dalam hospital, bosan sangat. So, aku decided untuk buat blog. Alhamdulillah, Allah bagi aku sakit. Mungkin, Dia cuba latih kesabaran aku dan buang dosa kecil aku. InsyaAllah. 

Kalau korang nak continue baca blog ni, aku nak cakap siap-siap,

Thank you. Terima kasih. 

Temanlah aku :)

Kalau tak nak, it's okay. Doakan perjalanan hidup aku dipermudahkan. Take care. 

Life's a climb, but the view's great ;)

- Image from Tumblr.

-AA-